Its Hard to be Grateful…

Its so hard to be grateful, isn’t it? We have so many blessings we are blinded by them. We don’t see the good that is in our life.

If you are reading this, then chances are you have a computer. Or at least access to a computer. And not just any computer, a computer that can access the internet. There are a lot of people in this world who have never even seen a computer.

Chances are, you are reading this in a comfy chair in your house. Or apartment. Or dorm room. Someplace that you can call home. A roof over your head. It might not be your dream place to be (mine sure isn’t!) but it is a roof over your head. Oh, and a comfy chair to sit in. That’s more than homeless people can say.

I’m sure that where ever you are there are lights, and probably some sort of heating/cooling system. And probably a tv, radio, and various other electronic gadgets that we “can’t live without.”

Most of us have at least one vehicle. Or access to a vehicle. Public transportation, a bicycle, a friend/family member who can drive you around. Some manner of transportation.

If you are a parent, you probably have car seats, cribs, bottles, sippy cups, toys, blankets, diapers (disposable or cloth), clothes, forms of entertainment (jumpers, bouncers, swings, etc), and a variety of other things we “have to have.” But there are babies in the world who don’t even have the luxury of a loving mama’s arms.

When we are thirsty we have a variety of choices. Clean water comes out of the tap, but many of us (myself included) drink “purified” or “drinking” water. We buy soda, juice, tea, powdered drink mixes, etc. etc. etc. But some parts of the world don’t even have water to drink.

Same goes for food. We don’t have to work on a farm (unless it is our desire to do so or a family tradition). We don’t have to hunt in order to have meat. We just go to the grocery store and can find anything and everything our heart desires. And if one store doesn’t carry it, another might. Or there is always the internet.

We shop as a past time. We lounge in front of the tv, claiming we deserve it for working so hard. We spend thousands of dollars on recreation and even pay people to provide us with recreation (sports stars, movie stars, etc.).

And yet, we are unhappy. We are ungrateful. We are depressed. We are unhealthy. We are overwhelmed and stressed. We are completely miserable.

Today is one of those days for me. We were supposed to take T up to the hospital to have him tested in an effort to figure out why he was having low blood sugars a few months back. It took me 3 months to get this appointment. My husband had to request time off work. It was a huge ordeal. I was stressed. Worried. Emotional.

And then we stopped to get gas. And the car wouldn’t start. It just died. Wouldn’t turn over. Made a few sputtering noises and died.

We managed to get home.

Then S had a low blood sugar. 48. Very low. Scary low. He bounced back from it very quickly and is now riding in the 200s (need to finish feeding him so I can get it back down to a normal number).

I’m not feeling grateful today. But I’m sitting in a decent chair (not the most comfortable but not horrible), in an air conditioned house, at my laptop, on the internet, while my boys snack away watching Thomas on tv. I have a bottle of gatorade at my side. My favorite flavor, Strawberry Kiwi. My wonderful husband is trying to see what he can do about getting the car fixed and still keeping it in budget. We have everything in our house that we need to get through a week without a car.

We are okay.

We are more than okay.

We are blessed.

So even though I am frustrated, tired, stressed, and emotional, I am also grateful. Grateful for all that we have. Grateful for the love my kids and husband shower me with on a daily basis. And I will try to hold onto that gratitude as life tries to shake me.


2 thoughts on “Its Hard to be Grateful…

  1. Kyra says:

    This is very interesting. I too had my car break down this weekend…at a gas station on the way back from an appointment. Luckily it was close to home and it was able to be fixed that day (with a new battery and starter) but I was a little frustrated. It would have been easy to go into “wo is me” mode but I just kept saying to myself, “It could be worse!” and it made it easier to see the blessings in the trial. I hope everything works out for your family. I think about you often.
    Love ya!

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