Dearest S,…Love, Mama

Dearest S,

I wanted to capture this moment in time. How can I capture the essence of all the wonderfulness that is your 2 year old self? I know that I can’t. But I want to cling to it. To hold it in my hands and never let it go.

Can I tell you how proud I am of you? You are the most brave little boy I know. I know you fuss a little when we do finger sticks and shots. And I don’t blame you. How could you not be hurt by being poked so many times a day. But what amazes me is how little you fight it. If I ask you to come get your sugars checked, you come, and you give me your hand. If I tell you to snuggle so I can give you your shots, you might not come right away, but you never fight me or scream when I do give them to you. And after a quick poke and a hug, you run off to play again.

Then there is your imagination. Playing with all the little animals that you love so much. Telling me their different names. And if you forget how to say the name, telling me that it is an animal. Making them go down the “slide” that is really a ramp for your cars. But it doesn’t matter to you. It looks like a fun slide, and so down go the animals.

You love drinks! You have to have one with you all the time. “Juice” is your favorite right now. I feel bad that you think it is truly juice when in reality it is some kind of flavored water. I wish you could have straight juice like other kids. But since you can’t, I’m so grateful that you enjoy the watered down KoolAid, Crystal Light, or juice. Because it makes me glad to know that you are getting something you love, even if it isn’t what “normal” kids get.

I love the leaps and bounds you have made in the last year. I remember last summer when you were barely learning to crawl. I remember worrying that there was something wrong with you that was keeping you delayed. Since then you have learned to walk, dance, run, and are even working on jumping! And I love how you are trying to go up and down the stairs, holding onto the railing, all by yourself! You are such a big boy!

Lately you have been having some separation anxiety. I’m not sure why. But I want you to know that I will do my best to always be there for you. And if for some reason mama can’t be, you have so many other people who love you. From daddy, to nana, to grandma, to papa, to all your aunts and uncles, you are a cherished little boy. You will always be loved, cherished and taken care of to the best of our abilities.

You have a musical spirit to you, my little S. I love to see you dance and sing. To create your own music. I look forward to the days when we can start teaching you an instrument and watch that talent bloom! I am sure you are going to be able to use that passion for God someday in the not too distant future.

And speaking of God, I LOVE your passion for the Bible. Your desire to have it read to you, your excitement you get when you see it in different places. Yesterday at the doctor’s office, I loved how happy you were to see the Bible sitting there on the table (it excited mama a bit too!). And the fact that you were eager to try to read it, makes my heart sing. I pray that you will continue to have that love for God’s Word as you grow and that it will become ingrained in your little heart and mind.

I have such dreams for you! I look forward to every moment of watching you grow up. Of helping you to learn as you grow. I am blessed to have you as part of my life. And I pray that God will give us many years together, and that you will grow to be a wonderful man with his own family. I pray that God will bless you, and use your struggles to bless someone else. There is nothing more rewarding.

Please remember little man, even when mama seems short tempered, tired, or not fun, I love you. I love you more than you will ever imagine, or ever know. And that love is not going to change. I wanted you, more than you can know, and I still want you. You are a treasure from God. A blessing. And I thank God everyday that he gave me you.

I love you little man!


I love to hear what you are thinking!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s