Do you ever…

Feel like your banging your head against the wall?

Screaming in a crowded room but can’t be heard?

At the end of your rope?

That’s how I feel right now. I feel as though I am fighting against the current. I feel like I could scream and scream and scream. And to be honest, I might scream at someone tomorrow if things don’t start changing.

I know doctors mean well. I know that they are doing their best and that they are only human. But sometimes they need to stop and realize just that. They are only human.

Let me back up a bit.

Diabetes has reared its ugly head on us this weekend. Instead of having a fun weekend at home, we have been split apart. S is in the hospital and Aaron and I have taken turns driving back to Dover at night with T.

The problem is that he keeps bottoming out. But they don’t know why. He won’t eat. But they don’t know why.

But, to be honest, they aren’t doing a whole lot to figure it out.

They’ve been watching him. And checking his sugars. And counting his carbs.

But they haven’t looked at his logs. And they don’t believe me that he isn’t acting normal. And they don’t seem concerned that all he had to eat all day is about a half a cup of macaroni and cheese and a banana. Plus, two wet diapers. ALL day. 2.

Yeah, we are still here. And truthfully I just want this nightmare over. But that’s just it. I want it over. I don’t want to go through this again in a couple of days. I don’t want to have to come back next weekend (when we are celebrating T’s birthday and when Aaron is leaving for a TDY). I want it figured out now.

There is my tantrum. Have I mentioned lately how much I HATE diabetes? I really just want my baby back.

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One thought on “Do you ever…

  1. Kyra says:

    Sounds like every mother’s worst nightmare. I wish I could give you a big hug. My heart aches for you and your family. I hope your precious little boy gets better soon. I will be praying for you guys. Hang in there! Love ya!

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